School Can’t Hub · Free check-in · about 5 minutes
What are you noticing?
A check-in for parents and carers
Notice changes that are easy to miss, organise what you’ve seen, and take a summary into conversations with your young person and their school.
What are you noticing?
Sometimes the signs are easy to miss. School difficulties don’t always begin with missed days.
Sometimes they show up as:
School Can’t describes when a young person experiences significant difficulty attending school, staying at school, or managing the school day because of distress, overwhelm or other barriers.
It’s not simply a matter of choosing not to attend. Some young people keep going to school despite significant distress or exhaustion, and these difficulties may emerge before attendance is affected.
What this check-in helps you do
You don’t need to know what’s causing the difficulties to start noticing them.
Here’s what you’ve been noticing
Sometimes, seeing everything in one place can help us recognise patterns we hadn’t noticed before.
What does this tell us?
These observations help describe what you’ve been noticing. They don’t tell us exactly why school is difficult, or whether a young person is experiencing School Can’t. Some of these experiences can occur alongside School Can’t, but they can also have other explanations.
The important next step is understanding what’s happening from the young person’s perspective. They may be experiencing difficulties adults haven’t noticed, or understand their experiences differently.
Get curious, not cross
You don’t need to have all the answers. A good place to start is curiosity, connection and a willingness to understand.
Start with the young person
What adults observe is only part of the picture. Gently explore what school feels like for them, without pressure to explain everything at once. You might try:
“I’ve noticed mornings have been feeling harder lately.”
“I’m wondering if there’s something about school that’s been difficult.”
“Is there a part of the day that feels easier or harder?”
“You don’t have to figure it all out right now.”
Some young people find it easier to share through writing, drawing, texting, or talking side by side in the car or on a walk.
Remember: if they say “I don’t know”, it doesn’t mean nothing is wrong. They may not yet have the words to explain what’s happening.
Look for patterns, not just behaviours
Rather than focusing only on what a young person is doing, consider what might be contributing. You might explore:
These are starting points for exploration, not conclusions about what is causing the difficulty.
Share what you’ve noticed
Your observations can help when talking with teachers, guidance officers, school counsellors or wellbeing staff. You don’t need to arrive with a diagnosis or a complete explanation. You might say:
We’ve been noticing some changes in how school is feeling for our young person. We’d really like to understand what’s contributing, and work together on what might help.
Share your summary, listen to what school staff have noticed, and talk about adjustments that could make school feel safer or more manageable. Agree on how, and when, you’ll check whether they’re helping.
Consider additional support
You don’t need to wait until attendance becomes a crisis to seek help. A GP can help explore physical symptoms without assuming they’re caused by anxiety, discuss mental health concerns, and consider referrals for additional support where appropriate.
If a young person is experiencing significant distress, bullying, exclusion or feeling unsafe, take these concerns seriously and seek timely support.
Want to understand School Can’t?
Our free interactive explores what School Can’t is (and isn’t), early warning signs, contributing factors, and why a young person’s capacity can change from day to day.
Start the free interactiveSmall changes can matter. Support doesn’t have to wait until things become unmanageable.
A starting point for conversation
You’ve taken time to reflect on what school has been like for this young person. Your observations aren’t a diagnosis or a final answer. They’re information that may help you, your young person and the adults supporting them understand what’s happening.
Questions to explore with your young person
Based on the parts of school life you noticed. Pick one or two, not all at once.
Download your check-in summary
Your PDF includes:
- The observations you selected, organised by category
- Any reflections you’ve written
- Questions to explore with your young person
- Practical next steps, words to use with school, and space for notes from your conversation
When the print screen opens, choose Save as PDF. On iPhone or iPad, tap Share, then Save to Files. You can share it with people supporting your young person, if you choose.
Your answers aren’t saved. If you leave or refresh this page they’ll be cleared, so download your summary first.
Pocket Psych · Last reviewed October 2026
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For parents and carers: your next step
Setting the Compass
Our interactive guide for families navigating School Can’t. Pause, reflect on what matters most, and find a few small, values-led steps forward.
- Family values
- Your regulation
- Connection
- Shame-free boundaries
- School fit
- Where your child is succeeding
About 40 minutes, in your own time
Personal results sheet · answers stay private
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